Saturday, March 12, 2011

I Don't Care About Japan and Neither Do You


Children, it's time to get real. Japan is in a crisis. It is up to us, the mighty bloggers and unemployed hipsters of the world, to unite and finally do something about something. I urge all of my readers to reach into their wallets, take out their credit cards, and pre-order a copy of Pokemon Black at your local Best Buy. If every person who reads this blog does so, Japan will get a whole ten dollars, which is about as much as anyone is willing to give to support the Japan Relief Fund anyway.


The truth is no one cares more about Japan than I do, and I don't care about Japan at all. That said, I'm sick of seeing everyone put "Praying for Japan", or "Sending love to those in Japan" or whatever. It's not just the straight up vapidity of these statements, it's the obvious fallacy of them. If you really cared about Japan you'd do something about it.


Honestly. Do you know how easy it is to volunteer for the relief effort? Dial 416-916-0522 and talk to Steve Kepka, the North American GlobalMedic representative to find out how you can volunteer from the comforts of your own fucking home. That is literally the man's personal cell phone number. He is taking all calls. Really. This is absolutely not a joke.


How many of you really called? Exactly.


I found that shit on Google. But I guess calling someone and talking to them for five minutes and then referring callers to the GlobalMedic website or reporting donations, or really even donating, is too much of a hassle. Nah, let's all just pray. Yeah, that's just as good, right?


Look, I am honestly apathetic about the devastation this latest Godzilla attack has had on Japan. Let no one accuse me of donating any time and money to help Japan recover from Mother Nature's terrorism. Does that make me an asshole? Hell yeah it does. But at least I'm not a liar. So keep praying, kids! Maybe converting the Japanese to Christianity will stop the next tsunami/earthquake.

6 comments:

YeahRight said...

This is despicable.

Anonymous said...

youe so rude. we need to try to text to get money to help stop the nature disasters!

really like i dont get how this could happen like we have the power to make furbies but not stop a oragami drownign the japanese! remember pogs? pogs. we shoulda been tryna stop the great earthwuakwe of japan 2011.

i think that the factr that you dont care is what is making the usa bad because we need to at least care and say LOTSA prayers and hope for peace love and happiness for the asian people to avoid future oragamis. these japanese need soem jesus wishes and super powers to help them survive now.

you just done care because in like 2000 they invaded the usa harbor and stole all the pearls and the jack ruby. ever notice our 35th president is NOT asian????? ever notice there are more chinese food joints than japanese?? hhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm??????????????????

you disgust me. how dare you bring up the point that although people are saddened by this that they dont do shit to help?

i love you.

Anonymous said...

I can't think of a more appropriate thing to say. There's too many slitty eyed cunts as it is.

Anonymous said...

fuck yeah exactly! well i mean,sooooorryyyyy but thats just the truth.well said.

Anonymous said...

I will never help Japan, Fuck them..
Everything we get here is from China.

Anonymous said...

It may be pointless to try to establish which World War Two Axis aggressor, Germany or Japan, was the more brutal to the peoples it victimised. The Germans killed six million Jews and 20 million Russians [i.e. Soviet citizens]; the Japanese slaughtered as many as 30 million Filipinos, Malays, Vietnamese, Cambodians, Indonesians and Burmese, at least 23 million of them ethnic Chinese. Both nations looted the countries they conquered on a monumental scale, though Japan plundered more, over a longer period, than the Nazis. Both conquerors enslaved millions and exploited them as forced labourers—and, in the case of the Japanese, as [forced] prostitutes for front-line troops. If you were a Nazi prisoner of war from Britain, America, Australia, New Zealand or Canada (but not Russia) you faced a 4% chance of not surviving the war; [by comparison] the death rate for Allied POWs held by the Japanese was nearly 30%
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_war_crimes

On October 2006, while Prime Minister Shinzo Abe expressed an apology for the damage caused by its colonial rule and aggression, more than 80 Japanese lawmakers from his ruling party LDP paid visits to the Yasukuni Shrine.

Many in the international and Asian community see this as support for or complicity with Japanese nationalism, and denial of the events of World War II.[47] The politicians themselves see this as paying respect to the over two million war dead of Japan from several wars, done on personal time. In 2005, President of Palau, Tommy Remengesau, stated that praying for all people is right

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So there. F*ck Japan.