To answer your first question, no, I haven't started blogging in German, as I am not a Neo-Nazi, nor am I planning a school shooting (yet). The title of this entry is a plea to the Gods of The Inter-Webs to help me smite these ugly, pimple-face, four-eyed scenester kids, so that I may never be forced to punch my monitor in an attempt to remove them from the screen again.
Everyone knows a scenester kid. Most all dress like they're blind or high, and they all gel their hair into little shiny helmets. I suppose this would be to protect their ears from me screaming, 'DIE FAGGOT!' every time I see them at Wal-Mart. Either that or to protect them from the shopping carts I chuck at them.
All scenesters are exactly the same: vapid, mindless crackers who wander malls like it's Dawn of the Dead. They wear skinny jeans, because they think they're attractive, not realizing that they're just making their asses look huge and making their fat guts waterfall out from under their strangely tight shirts, emblazoned with bands that either a)suck, or b)they don't listen to. Hey, check me out, guys! I'm wearing an NWA shirt, even though I don't listen to them, because it's ironic. Who's ever heard of a rich white kid who likes rap? I'm so original! Bitch, Eazy-E would pop a cap in your chunky ass had he not died a painful, AIDS-related death fifteen years ago.
If you are uncertain about your friends or familial relations feelings towards the scenester menace, then look at their FaceBook page, which everyone has now, because everyone (self included) collapsed to peer pressure. On their page, do they post pictures they've clearly taken themselves while in the bathroom holding the camera sideways? Do these pictures involve them showing off their ginormo tits, buck teeth, and hairy arms? Do they post essays about how much they love State Radio, My Chemical Romance, or worse, Nirvana? Finally, do they still rant about how much they fucking hate George Bush, or as I once saw, Paris Hilton? If so, get your gun and bar the doors... you've got a scenester!
In closing, I'd like to ask the World Bank for money again. After reading this and heeding my advice, surely Bono or whoever the hell runs that Jewish circle-jerk will see that the scenesters must be eliminated, lest our malls be unsafe forever (or until MTV says it isn't cool). I will need $100 billion dollars to fund my one man war, which may seem like a lot, but trust me, you're saving on labor here. Only I need to strike out against the scenester menace, because scenester kids are pussies who don't fight back, and who, when challenged, skateboard away, and then complain on MySpace about how mean cops are and how they totally would've kicked the pig's ass if he didn't have a gun. Kisses!
P.S. Okay, about the Nirvana thing. I feel like I need to address this because for some strange reason everyone who connects to the Internet outside of Starbucks and reads blogs on their laptop listens to Nirvana, which they shouldn't, because they're just buying into what Nirvana stood against. Also, Kurt is dead, and their songs all sounded alike. That might not be so bad, if people would just stop making Mr. Cobain out to be a fucking messiah. He was a drug addict who shot himself out of fear for what might happen if he went on tour still addicted to heroin. Whoopeee. Another dead rockstar. Get the fuck over it.
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