Amy Adams: "What if I cook my way through Julia Child's cookbook in one year and write a blog about it. Is that crazy?"
Boyfriend: "No, but it's incredibly boring."
Amy Adams:"......"
There's a reason this scene was cut from Julie & Julia, and that is because Hollywood hates the truth, and the truth is that this movie is an asinine, inane piece of derivative horseshit. Only one person in the world should be forced to watch this crap, and his name rhymes with 'Okama Bin Waden'.
The basic plot, and I stress basic, is that Amy Adams is, oh no!, a pretty woman with a problem. She can't fit in. Her boss is mean to her! Boo fucking hoo! Also, her boyfriend listens to her, and is very good looking. Some girls just can't catch a break, huh? But guess what? Our heroine Julia loves to cook! Wow, how original; a woman cooking. Anyhoo, Julia decides the only way to solve her 'problems' is to cook terribly fattening food and blog about it to her annoying, nasally-voiced bitch friends. So she does. The end.
Last I checked, in order for a movie to be entertaining, people need to do things. That's just common sense. But here we see some dumb cunt fritter away her life for an entire year and becoming involved in a delusional relationship with a dead woman who teaches her life lessons, like 'Don't Be Afraid To Try New Things'. Seriously, why does a thirty-something single woman need to learn that? If she did, wouldn't she have learned that years ago? Another 'helpful lesson' the dead broad drops on the idiot is, apparently, to drink cooking sherry. That one was shocking, even to me. Why in holy fuck would anyone drink cooking sherry? It's salty, vinegary, and loaded with pure alcohol. No one in their right mind would, but then again, Julie talks to a dead woman. Now that I think about it, drinking cooking sherry seems perfectly in character.
My last issue with this film is the horrible message it sends to women, namely that people care what they think. This bitch has it in her skull that if she starts a website whose sole purpose is to inform people of her day-to-day cooking habits is a good way to spend a year. If any woman, or man for that matter, thinks this is a good idea, they should be shot alongside their fellow Mongoloids.
Bottom line: this movie is about a desperately lonely rich bitch whose head is so far up her own ass with vanity that she thinks every little moment of her life, including the many times a day she talks to VHS tapes (in 2009?) of a dead French woman, is worth reading about. It is marketed to all people with vaginas and low IQs. It should not have been created, in part or in whole, and everyone involved should be Sodomized to death by polar bears with chainsaws for cocks.
Darsh gives it an 'F', as in Fuckin' terrible. Tune in next week when I review a movie that actually looks good, and I'm sure is going to sweep next year's Oscars: G-Force, the movie about talking guinea pigs who have been experimented on by the government! Cubs win!
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