Guitar Hero was once my favorite game. It's hard to imagine that just two years ago, I thought Rock Band was going to be the biggest rip-off since Webster. But now, I see the error of my ways. Guitar Hero: World Tour is a twisted web of lies not fit to be used as a coaster. In every way, Rock Band 2 is superior, and here's how:
GRAPHICS: Why does my randomly generated drummer look like Hulk Hogan? Why do all these people look like they're sixty? Why does an Xbox 360 game made by fucking NeverSoft look this terrible? All these questions and more you will ask, and no one will be there to help you. Rock Band 2 looks semi-plausible. Note: I didn't say realistic. Neither of these two games seem all that concerned with realism. Honestly, if that were the point, what would stop you from just buying a guitar and joining a real band? But at least Rock Band 2 has human-esque characters, as well as real guitars. I know what you're thinking: Guitar Hero has Gibson, the awesomer than Fender, LOL!!1! No, dipshit, they don't. In case you didn't hear, NeverSoft got sued by Gibson after the last Guitar Hero came out, citing the proliferation of images not secured in the clause of their intercompany contractual obligations. Translation: you lose , asswipe.
GAMEPLAY: I hate Guitar Hero peripherals. It's not that they're flawed in terms of design; in many cases they're superior. But NeverSoft is so up it's own ass with the self-righteousness that they seem to think their games should only be played with their peripherals. They even state explicitly on their website that it's a fucking felony to play Guitar Hero with Rock Band instruments, and to play Rock Band with Guitar Hero instruments. Never mind the fact that the mic for Guitar Hero is completely broken, as is the singing engine, or that the drumset looks like a one of those 'ergonomically' superior pieces of shit from Sweden. Guitar Hero should stick with Guitars. Except, wait a minute, they can't even do that right! That whole double-handed slidey thing? Completely pointless. Such a trivial invention can only truly be appreciated from the sidelines, where you see the guy who actually uses the stupid slider piece for what he really is: a douchebag.
Another key element of failure for Guitar Hero is the widely anticipated create-a-track system. Guess what? Doesn't exist. The so-called create-a-track is actually a create-a-shitty-remix that is overly complicated and produces nothing more than what you'd find at the local euro-trash club, just with much less Zima and much, much less date rape. Enjoy creativity, you twats.
SOUNDTRACK: Whilst playing this overpriced cocktease, you may find yourself asking, 'where have I played these songs before?' Oh, nowhere, never, not at all before in your life. Except in Rock Band. It seems that of the eighty-six songs available on-disc for Guitar Hero, twenty-three of them have been featured on Rock Band either on-disc or via DLC. So you're paying over one hundred dollars on a game that looks like shit, has almost the same exact track listing for Rock Band, fucks up it's own peripherals and has no licensed Guitars. Okay, just checking. Have fun sleeping tonight. Maybe you can pour out your sorrow through song on the create-a-track mode. Oh, wait, that's right. I just told you exactly what the hell was wrong with the create-a-track. Silly me.
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