Hey, kids, wanna know what can really brighten a bad day? Breaking down and belittling someone stupider than you! Take my word for it; nothing makes you feel like more of a man than making a young girl cry. Case in point:
The other day in government class, we were talking about what a person must do to become a senator. Seems harmless enough right? Wrong, turkey. Suddenly, a hand goes up, and the teacher, being a woman, falls for an obvious ploy at grabbing attention. After that, the whole class goes to hell in a handbasket.
Guess what? It turns out the person who raised there hands was a vegetarian. And guess what else? They had an opinion that nobody cared about. I know, I'm repeating myself there, but I just wanted you to see where I'm going. Are you ready? Are you ready for the stupidity that is this bitch's mindgasm? Well then, hold onto your penis, because it's about to get shriveled by...
THE OPINION OF A VEGETARIAN!
And I quote:
"I don't get why senators think they have the right to tell women what to do with there bodies. Where do they get off?"
Here's where I get off: kicking the shit out of your feeble ass!
And I quoth again (this time it's me):
"Where do you get off?"
Awed silence as my impromptu remark sinks in like a boatload of rich brats near an iceberg.
I continued:
"First of all, no one cares what you think. Why should they? You think, for reasons undetermined, that it's a good idea to waste everyone's learning time to make your stupid opinions about something unrelated to the class discussion known. Second of all, you act like a friggin' Senator gives two shits about how you feel about abortion. Democracy in our nation is based on electing representatives who share our points of view. It's called majority rule. You don't like it? You feel cheated? Then go to Canada, you stupid dike."
Insert cheering here. Also insert that stupid chick crying. Her tears were like a solvent that cured the welts of my hatred. Hatred welts in my soul.. I should be a poet.
Anyhoo, the teacher was so happy that I tore that bitch down, she sent me to the principal's office, presumably where I would receive my key to the city for my heroic efforts. But I guess the Principal didn't hear about my valiant struggle, because she chewed me out about "equality of opinion", and "hearing all voices". Bullshit. I'm right, you're wrong, get used to it.
Just writing about this occurrence hardened a very special part of me: my soul. I'm hoping it will harden a part of you as well. And with our hardness united, we can squirt a load of truth all over the face of narrowmindedness, and wrongmindedness, and also wrongness. A savory, salty load of FREEDOM. Your shit=ruined!
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