Why Are Retards Allowed To Vote?

Hey asswipe, did you vote today? I thought not. Looks like staying at home, eating nachos, and jacking your dog off was a bit more tempting than getting off your greasy ass and doing something with your worthless life. Oh, what's that? You did vote? Since when did we let retards vote?

I was at the booths this morning, when I saw a few things that disturbed me. The first was the shocking number of people in wheelchairs being accompanied by their nurses or what have you into the booths. What the fuck? First of all, why are we letting retards vote? Retards aren't citizens. They're mental invalids, and therefore have no value in our society. Yet we're letting them fucking vote? Well, actually, I see through this plot, you sneaky snakes. Retards cannot vote because they have no cognitive abilities beyond saying their own name and farting at inappropriate and hilarious moments. What they're actually doing is voting a second time for whoever their nurse voted for! Those cheap, lying sacks of shit are getting two votes. I hate RNs, and that has nothing to do with the time a bunch of them videotaped a thermometer going up my ass. They're liars. Lying is only cool when I do it.

I also saw a startling number of Russians, or Bosnians, or Kyrgyzstanis or whatever the hell they are. So now we let foreigners vote? I hate fucking foreigners. First of all, these bald, potato-eating, vodka-swilling Pinkos were babbling to each other in, like, fucking Klingon. Hey, Milosh, you're in America now. Speak American. I'm sick of going to the bank and getting a language option on my ATM. There should only be two language choices: 'English', or 'No'.

Second of all, I could tell these men were terrorists. I heard them say 'Gorbachev', and suddenly, the pieces came together: all those worthless, job-stealing, snow-blowing, ice-back Commies are voting their way into power. Can you imagine a Commie president? I can't, because I'm not Satan. I say kill all Commies. I want all people to go out to their voting places or whatever the fuck they call 'em and wave signs that have this phrase written in blood. Russian blood.

KILL ALL COMMIES!