quickie: dio

My dear children and loyal followers, a king has died today. Ronnie James Dio has left our world for the next, which I'm sure he has already conquered with is majestic metal. First, Corey Haim, now this? When will God stop pissing on me?

Hang your heads in sorrow, kids.

RIP Ronnie James Dio, 1942-2010

"And they say that it's over,

And it just had to be,

Though they say that it's over,

We're the lost children of the sea"

Three Wolf Moon: The Legend

Dracula. Robin Hood. Jesus. All three legendary figures of American folklore. But for quite some time, there has not been a new addition to the American Mythos; I'm pretty sure the last one was Paul Bunyan. But all that has changed; ladies and gentlemen, meet... THREE WOLF MOON.

The first time I saw Three Wolf Moon was at an Anime Convention in Boston. I had always heard the tales whispered around the campfire, but I had never considered the possibility that there could actually be a shirt so straight-up BA as to have three wolves and a moon on it. But there it was, staring at me, staring at my soul. I had no choice but to buy Three Wolf Moon for the princely sum of $26.95 plus tax. I think I can speak without hyperbole when I say that this was the smartest thing I have ever done with my money ever ever forever.

I didn't wear Three Wolf Moon for at least a month after I purchased it. I wanted its value to appreciate, but also, I think I was a little bit intimidated. What if my soul wasn't strong enough to contain the magic of Three Wolf Moon? What if three wolves was just way too many wolves? Also, what if my man-boobs distorted the wolves and/or the moon? I was as scared as a four year old boy in the Pope's basement. But there was only one way to tackle my fears: HEAD ON! I knew what I had to do. I put on Three Wolf Moon and took one look in the mirror.

It was the most glorious sight I have ever laid my eyes on.

Three Wolf Moon is the greatest t-shirt ever made. I have since stopped wearing all other forms of clothing, as no other form of clothing can capture the sheer ass-kickery of Three Wolf Moon. I don't just mean shirts, either: I stopped wearing pants as well. Then again, when a man has three wolves on his chest, he doesn't need pants anyway. Wearing Three Wolf Moon tells the world, "I'm great, and if you disagree, fuck you,". It's like having a second pair of testicles. They say the clothes don't make the man, but in this instance, I'd have to disagree. And who are any of you to challenge me? After all, I have... THREE WOLF MOON!!!

PROS: covers my girthy frame, attracts women, has wolves on it.

CONS: only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting arms crossed, wolves should have been glow in the dark.

Do you think you're man enough to face Three Wolf Moon?