There's a lot of bullshit on the internet right now about the suspension of habeas corpus, and the National Defense Authorization Act 2012, and how Obama has become the worst president since Carter overnight. I must admit, I'm not a big supporter of Obama, because he talks with his hands like a fucking idiot, and he's biracial. As a fellow biracial American, I think it's my duty to inform you gullible, naive one-racers that we're not to be trusted. Having two races gives us the advantages of both with none of the drawbacks. Every biracial human is a Blade, and you elected one to the highest office of power in the world. What the fuck did you expect to happen?
But I cannot be entirely auspicious towards B-Hussein this time, if only because I really feel like no foul has been made on his side of the court. The NDAA was passed without a hitch, and suddenly every jackass with a MacBook and a hacky-sack goes shithouse rat all over YouTube. What the fuck? They pass a new NDAA every year, and have for the last forty eight years. What's the problem with this one?
Well, it seems the Occupy Generation is at it again, complaining in the streets and furrowing their brows in a vain attempt to grasp what is for them imperceptible. Yes, the President has the right to institute martial law. He always has. What the fuck are you idiots trying to prove, that Obama is the forty-fourth corrupt president? Does keeping the rights oathbound to his office make him a fascist? That's like saying a police officer is a racist unless he stops arresting black people.
Firstly, habeas corpus, despite what you may have heard from Chet, your pothead roommate "who's totally political brah", is not a fucking right. It is a privilege, and is spoken of as such in the Constitution of this once-literate country. Second of all, indefinite detention, or the suspension of habeas corpus, has always been a right of office of the president. Just because the president still has that right doesn't mean he's the new Hitler. Thirdly, the NDAA doesn't even expressly say US citizens are to be indefinitely detained, even though (again) that's well within the president's powers. The article in question simply reiterates the powers originally drafted in the Authorization for Use of Military Force Against Terrorists instituted by GW right after 9/11. In short, play nice and you have nothing to worry about.
So what does any of this mean to the rational, law-abiding American citizen? Absolutely nothing. No laws have changed, no dark cabal has upended democracy, and Obama isn't going to order random arrests in the streets, because habeas corpus has not been suspended. This isn't Iraq, geniuses.
But to any of you who may be occupying a certain street in New York, it means deep shit. Have fun fighting for... what the hell were you guys fighting for again? Never mind. Don't drop the soap, kids!
