Children, it's time to get real. Japan is in a crisis. It is up to us, the mighty bloggers and unemployed hipsters of the world, to unite and finally do something about something. I urge all of my readers to reach into their wallets, take out their credit cards, and pre-order a copy of Pokemon Black at your local Best Buy. If every person who reads this blog does so, Japan will get a whole ten dollars, which is about as much as anyone is willing to give to support the Japan Relief Fund anyway.
The truth is no one cares more about Japan than I do, and I don't care about Japan at all. That said, I'm sick of seeing everyone put "Praying for Japan", or "Sending love to those in Japan" or whatever. It's not just the straight up vapidity of these statements, it's the obvious fallacy of them. If you really cared about Japan you'd do something about it.
Honestly. Do you know how easy it is to volunteer for the relief effort? Dial 416-916-0522 and talk to Steve Kepka, the North American GlobalMedic representative to find out how you can volunteer from the comforts of your own fucking home. That is literally the man's personal cell phone number. He is taking all calls. Really. This is absolutely not a joke.
How many of you really called? Exactly.
I found that shit on Google. But I guess calling someone and talking to them for five minutes and then referring callers to the GlobalMedic website or reporting donations, or really even donating, is too much of a hassle. Nah, let's all just pray. Yeah, that's just as good, right?
Look, I am honestly apathetic about the devastation this latest Godzilla attack has had on Japan. Let no one accuse me of donating any time and money to help Japan recover from Mother Nature's terrorism. Does that make me an asshole? Hell yeah it does. But at least I'm not a liar. So keep praying, kids! Maybe converting the Japanese to Christianity will stop the next tsunami/earthquake.
