Our logo is a big Y! As in, "why are you reading this?"
It seems like nowadays there are two kinds of idiots in the world: the ignorant and the stupid. To some, these terms are interchangeable, but there are actually quite a few differences. An ignorant person is someone who can't read, and therefore can't educate themselves. These people suck, because they're generally poor, and poor people are the neediest fucks in the world. Seriously, when was the last time you saw a homeless dude who didn't have an iPod? There used to be a time when homeless people were willing to work for food and money. Not so in today's "do nothing, get everything" society, with the MTV and the ninety-nine percenters littering the streets like the human waste they are. Homeless people are like women; always expecting to be treated better than they deserve. If you were really desperate for food, money, or shelter, you'd be willing to fight your fellow hobos to the death on Pay-Per-View television and support the economy, you lazy sack-lickers.
The other kind of idiots are the truly stupid, or those who are educated as well or better than you might expect, yet still do the dumbest things you could think of, like voting to legalize marijuana, or worse, posting articles from Yahoo! on their FaceBook pages. Let me make one thing clear:
WE KNOW YOU CAN READ, SO FUCK OFF.
The only people who make a point of telling other people all the stupid little articles they read on Yahoo! are the people who think you don't know they can read. These people are so afraid of looking dumb, they inadvertently reveal how borderline retarded they truly are. If you possess the intellectual faculties necessary to set up an account on a social networking site, I assume you can read, at least on a basic level. You may still be dumb as shit, but at least you can read. But going out of your way to tell all your friends about the moronic articles you find important is inexcusable. I don't care. No one cares. Just, please, stop.
But I think I might be able to excuse people who put links to Yahoo! articles on their FaceBook pages (and tacitly, everyone's feed) if the articles were halfway intelligent. They aren't. Yahoo! News propagates the most inane, asinine pseudo-journalism this side of Arianna Huffington's bush. Yes, I know you think SOPA is bad. Shut your wet mouth about it. Sometimes I wish internet censorship really did exist (if you actually read the proposed bills, you'd know it didn't), just so B-Hussein could remove every last "stop SOPA" article from Yahoo! News.
My other favorite Yahoo! News articles include:
1) WORLD'S LONGEST MARRIED COUPLE! Wow, old people doing it! With stories this exciting, I can see why you need an exclamation point at the end of your name, Yahoo!.
2) MITT ROMNEY GLITTERBOMBED! This one I will admit I thought was interesting at first, but only because I read the 'bombed' part after Mitt Romney's name and assumed the favor I called in to my buddies in Hezbollah went through. Alas, it was just two retarded queerbags throwing glitter at him. That'll teach you to run for president in a country with a less than one percent gay population, Rombo!
3) LESLIE CARTER DEAD! No one knew who the fuck this cunt was until she died. Matter of fact, I don't think anyone knows now, either. So who gives a shit?
4) BEST BUFFALO HOTWINGS IN AMERICA! Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut has the best hot wings in the fucking world, let alone America. Any straight man could tell you this without any help from a shitty "news" site like Yahoo!. Even so, who would be interested in an hot wings except men and bulldyke lesbos? What is the intended audience of this article?
None of these are news. No one cares about this shit, so stop wiping it all over your FaceBook pages like little Stupidity Scout badges of honor. Nobody with a brain wants to read this shit, because then they'd be as stupid as you.
In all honesty, why would you want anyone to know you find this interesting? It's pretty shameful. Why not just tell everyone what your taste in Japanese animated pornography is while you're at it? At least then you'd look intelligent, because only nerds and Asians jerk it to anime, and according to Yahoo! News, Snooki thinks nerds and Asians are smart!
