First, let me apologize for the image deletion issue that has occurred in my most recent full-length mindgasm, 'Fuck Kony 2012'. For reasons undetermined, my images have been removed. That's fucking SOPA for you, right? Damn you, Obama!
Secondly, let me announce a new way for my words to fuck your mind-pussies: my new book. You read it correctly, amigos, I published a full length (kinda) novel. One hundred and nine fun-filled pages await all who download it for free on their Kindle. Oh yeah, that's another thing; you need a Kindle. I don't have one myself, because they're gay, but if you are gay and own one, download that shit right fucking here.
Those of you without Kindles will have to wait for a day when my insane writings become the norm, and a twelve-year-old Korean immigrant waif such as myself can make it in this country. Also, if you know anyone who owns a Kindle but does not know me, first mug them for being so gay as to own a Kindle, then command them to download my musings. My rage will fuel your Thu'um.
Finally, I'd like to close by rescinding my above apology, and bring it all home by telling you this: I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you download my book now, that will be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you. I will find you. And I will implore you to reconsider.
