Professional Football and the GOP are Destroying America

Professional football is the stupidest concept the synapses in my frontal lobe have ever attempted to osmose. The games are tedious to say the least, the same 'roided out monstermen win each year no matter which team they play for, and it all leads up to a Super Bowl championship title that is immediately stripped away the next season. I mean, really, doesn't that galvanize the entire season? One could properly summate the Super Bowl  as, "millionaires playing a game that means nothing to them while untold swathes of inebriated troglodytes scream for them to kill each other".

 

Oddly enough, that last explanatory snark could also be used to describe our wonderful country's current political furlough. If you haven't been paying attention, and to be fair you probably haven't, our glorious republic is mired in a quag of bipartisan hornswogglery. To put it in Double Dare terms, the Red Team dared the Blue Team to come up with a new (read: less socialist) health care plan and the Blue Team double dared them to do something about it. The Red Team accepted, and now everyone loses. To make the metaphor even more confusing, this all happened after the Blue Team already won the game.

REMEMBER THE NINETIES????!?!?!?!?!

You see, our president has decided it is time for our country to try something new, and by new I mean something that every other first world country is doing. Government run health care will cost less than the private option, and the rest of the world has known this for years. But because the idea was proposed by a black guy, half of our country's representatives are throwing a tantrum.

On a personal note, I honestly don't see the problem with the Affordable Healthcare Act. I mean, the medical coverage provided by your insurance doesn't actually change when you change providers, right? The only thing that changes is who you send your money to, and to reiterate, Obamacare costs less. I read comments on CNN and WMUR message boards saying that some Americans feel a government-run health care program would force citizens to relinquish their right to choose an insurance program on their own. That'd be a fine argument if insurance companies hadn't been forming localized monopolies for half a century after the McCarran-Ferguson act was passed in 1945. In short, no one in America can tell insurance companies how to fix their rates or when to stop expanding because the Fed does not recognize them as commercial businesses. Choosing private insurance over Obamacare is choosing the thieves over the police, and again, the police are charging less.

But how does this tie in to football again? One could draw a myriad of comparisons between professional football players and the GOP. Both consist of millionaires with drug problems, both are proud supporters of the prostitution industry, and neither of them are affected by job performance. John Boehner wept like a maiden during his inauguration back in 2010, talking about how much  personal freedoms and responsibility meant to him. Three years later, he's throwing a temper tantrum because the President wants us to live longer. Aren't I free to accept the Government option if I want it? Aren't you as an elected official responsible for following the will of your constituency instead of giving everyone the silent treatment? Congratulations Republicans, your speaker of the house is a toddler.

 I'd be clapping too if I made John Boehner cry.

Rallying behind the GOP for obstructing our Government from fulfilling its only purpose is like supporting the Detroit Lions, except Republicans sometimes win things. All the Right Wing message board huff-puffery really serves to illustrate is that you don't know how little you matter to Boehner, the Koch brothers, and the other Tea Party lunatics that will probably be running this country in 2016. No matter who wins, we lose, and once the Shutdown/Super Bowl is over, the season starts back up again, and everyone has to act like the last year was important. Fuckin' a, right?