Something Was Wrong

I knew something was wrong when I woke up without my kidney . I mean , when you walk into the doctor's office looking for medical advice , there's a certain amount of trust involved between doctor and patient , right ?

But that's what I get for visiting downtown Newark , AKA The Ingrown Hair on America's Taint . Sidebar : Newark is not to be confused with New Orleans , America's Shit-Stained Asshole .

I suppose the story started when I felt a sharp pain in my stomach . I then began to hear bubbling noises in my gullet . This was a sign of two things ; either a) mud butt , or b) the consumption !

Knowing my hour was at hand , I sought out a medicine man . After searching for a good seven or eight minutes , I gave up and asked a real doctor . Of course , he didn't really look like a real doctor , more like a homeless person . But hey , I guess that's the economy for you , right ?

So the Doctor , who said his name was Jerkin Slippyfist , punched me in the face and ripped my clothes off . I didn't need an explanation : the economy again . He just couldn't afford anesthesia or scissors . I understood completely .

But when I awoke , a deep ache in my anus and a bloody wound in my side , I knew something was wrong . That's the last time I ever see a black doctor .