Burn a Koran Day!

"God has given the body of Christ everything it needs to become an apostolic, overcoming church in America. But instead of mobilizing for the battle for truth, many Christians today are bowing to society. Mired in political correctness, the church remains ignorant about one of Satan's most successful and most accepted attempts to counteract the truth of the gospel- ISLAM."- Dr. Terry Jones

Some of my more loyal and radical followers have been emailing me about the upcoming Burn a Koran Day, asking if I'd heard of the event in question. Of course I've fucking heard of Burn a Koran Day. Are you kidding me? This is a second Christmas for me!

I fully and completely support Burn a Koran Day for a multitude of reasons, the first and foremost being how completely fair, even-handed, and non-denominational the holiday is. This is a holiday that people from all faiths can celebrate... well almost all of them. Also, it was created by Dr. Terry Jones, a writer known for his completely unbiased and science-based books on religion, such as Islam is the Devil, and my personal favorite, God Hates Brown People.

If all the information I've given you isn't enough to convince you to light up an Islamic stogie in the name of J.C., look at the simple facts. The damn thing was started by a doctor. When was the last time a doctor did anything wrong? Now, some of you may be wondering what it is Terry Jones is a doctor of.

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Moving on, let's talk about exactly how we as a nation are going to Burn a Koran tomorrow. Which methods best suit you as a typical, well-educated and not at all naive or blindly prejudiced American? Well, there's the straightforward method of simply putting a lighter to the pages, but that's just not for me. I encourage all of you who read this to fill an effigy with the pages of the Koran, leaving the hard outer cover for the younglings to burn, and light that sucker up on your front lawn to let all your neighbors know that you're on the up and up. As a proper tribute to the good Dr. Jones, I suggest you model your effigy after him! Just think of the smile on his face when he sees pictures of hundreds of thousands of tiny, burning clones of himself on the front page of Raging Bigot Weekly.

I know some of you are probably thinking that this has something to do with the new terrorist training camp-- I mean, Islamic Mosque being built near Ground Zero. I assure you, it certainly does. I also push you to ignore everything you hear and read about this Islamic Mosque. The liberal media will try to trick you and fill your head with such lies as, "it's a community center, not a mosque," or, "freedom of religion applies to everyone". Bullshit. Everyone knows that when Thomas Jefferson drafted the Constitution, he had America in mind as a Christian nation. And I quote:

"Christianity neither is, nor ever was a part of the common law."

Okay, that's kind of a shitty example, but I assure you, the Founding Fathers rank right up there with the twelve apostles and the nine hidden super-apostles as the greatest pillars of Christianity in America. So do your God and country proud by spreading hate and ignorance on a global scale. Burn a Koran and let the terrorists know that our hate is stronger than theirs!