I hate Metal-Archives.com.
This is not to say, however, that I hate Metal. Quite the opposite, I love Metal. For me, Metal is the one true religion. It's also the most convenient; other religions make you go to church and dress up and drink cranberry juice that's supposed to be wine that's supposed to be a cosmic Jew zombie's blood. Metal asks nothing of you but you're faith in it. All you must do to please the Metal Gods is not take shit from anyone and listen to the baddest, most balls out riffs this side of the Pacific.
That being said, there is nothing Metal about Metal-Archives. This is a website founded by fat nerdy virgins who are such losers they categorize Death-Metal grunters and bloody vagina Screamo guys as 'singers'. Bitch, please. You wanna scream? Go get a nut pierced. Stay the hell away from the mic. As for the cookie monster guys, just stop. You're not funny anymore.
Why is Metal-Archives so non-Metal? They hate everything great about Metal, for one. I don't know what they did to anger the Metal Gods so, but indeed this site has been cursed to non-Metaldom for eternity. But the infractions against the Code of Metaldom seem voluntary; no one told these assholes to write horrible, spelling error riddled reviews of classic Metal albums. What's that Mallcore faggot? Judas Priest's Defenders of the Faith not have enough screaming for you? Iron Maiden's Killers lack the idiotic blast-beats you so crave? Fuck off and die.
The fact is children, Metal is dying. Sorry, I worded that wrong; Metal is being tortured to death and jerked off on by non-Metal asswipes like these guys. They get kicked around by real Metalheads and take refuge on the Internet where you can say anything (nataS teews, ouy ot luos latrommi ym edgelp I) within the safety of your Mom's basement. Then they say, 'you know who sucks? Everyone who doesn't have every demo from Mayhem even though they only have about ten songs and they all sound alike. And also, everything from before 1989. All that sucks.'
What's worse is these guys are getting bands together and actually getting record deals. Let me repeat that... NON-METAL ASSWIPES ARE GETTING SIGNED TO METAL RECORD COMPANIES. When is it enough? You disgrace Metal with your awful music, you blaspheme your way into non-Metal Hell beside Kenny G and John Denver, and you go on MTV and 'represent' your horrible, horrible lifestyle choice. But is that enough? Suck your balls it is. You have to whore your destructive music at innocent Metallists from all angles-radio shows, the innernette, fUSE television... it will never be enough, will it?
Their are so few real Metal bands out there, and so many great ones have died away. rather than give you a list (it would have to be written in ichor on a scroll made of Satan's leathery wings) of all the great Metal bands and their best albums, I'll give you the warning signs of non-Metal infidels who have slithered into the belly of the beast like the greedy parasites they are.
Do they scream at least 50% of the time? Do they have annoying break-downs stolen from Limp Bizkit songs? Do they write songs about 'feelings'? Do they wear eyeliner? Did you go to high school with them? Are they not Bang Camaro? If you answered yes to any of these, you are being tricked into buying a non-Metal album. I beg of you to reconsider. I'll bet the next time you're being bombarded with non-Metal ass music in you're Vinyl Shoppe that you could pick out a handful of actual Metal albums for the price of one non-Metal albums. Just give it a shot.
In closing, I'd like to tell all the assholes at Metal-Archives AKA Encyclopaedia Metallum that I have their names, phone numbers, and home addresses. Just sayin'...
See you in your nightmares...
20 comments:
you are a retard. the shit you write is generaly taken from tv shows that you watch. taking witty (or unwitty as the case normaly is)lines and using them as your own original ideas is lame and not funny. you may think this is untrue but the one friend you have only laughs so as not to hurt your feelings. we all know how sensitive you are and you would probably cry if people told you the truth about your self. you are a arrogant tool and in your persuit of happiness you make up stories talk shit and try to hurt people. you do these things only because your of own insecurities and try to drag every one who has a shread of happiness into your pit of dispair. you should leave the people who obviously want nothing to do with you alone.
suck my dick
Dear 'me' (not me as in Darsh, but the guy who took a dump beneath my once-beautiful post)
I suggest you learn to think before you open your mouth, because you might embarass yourself one day. And that day is today.
You begin by calling me a retard. And to that I say this: at least I know how to spellcheck. And although I'm not one to squelch a fledgling writer's creativity, creative spelling and punctuation should only be used ironically.
You then go on to call me 'a arrogant tool', and say, 'we all know how sensitive you are'. Well, at least I have a fanbase, you friendless virgin.
And 'arrogant tool'? You're goddamn right I am.
You close by saying I should leave people alone who obviously want nothing to do with me. Well, I want nothing to do with you, so leave me alone. This is my personal blog, and you deliberately chose to read it. If it pissed you off, that's your fault you brainless cunt.
Love, Darsh.
P.S. Keep reading. I love hate mail ;)
you are an arrogant tool.
keep posting on this blog people only find accidently
then go die in a hole
omg u did a typo, it's the internet you fuck it's not worth spellchecking shit
Metal-Archives has the worst community ever. Their chatroom proves my point that many of their members are narcissistic asswipes that think newcomers should be *glad* to sniff their farts.
How can you put up shitty deathcore bands and yet deny legends like Praying Mantis?!
Fuck HellBlazer and fuck Morrigan (who I imagine isn't much to look at).
The Metal Archives community is a fucking joke. It's composed of the most arrogant elitist assholes on the internet. Also, they hate autistic people.
The Metal Archives seriously annoys me with their constant pickiness when it comes to bands. Some bands are just removed for no good reason, other it being "they're not metal enough". Prime examples are TesseracT, since 'djnent's totally not metal", and Post-Black Metal band Thranenkind, who they had for a LONG TIME, and decided to randomly remove them due to their new post-metal sound(which is ironic since they have post metal bands).
I am glad that there are people who feel the same as me. I also hate that retarded fucking metal archives whorehouse. It's a bunch of elitist assholes who act like sixteen year old emo-kids.
It remains a truly astounding wonder how metal-archives got as big as it did while simultaneously having the worst moderation in the history of the internet.
Metal-Archives sucks because 90% of its members are a bunch of unwashed, basement-dwelling neckbeard nerds with a failed social life. Wait a minute...I think I just gave the definition for "elitist" right? The only joy in life these turds have is trying too act all "tr00, kvlt and grim" while promoting shitty no name bands the rest of the world doesn't give (and never will give) a flying fuck about - because let's face it, 99,999% of those bands all sound the fucking same - while talking shit on bands that actually went on to become more successful than those "tr00 underground kvlt tryhard" bands that are still stuck playing crappy gigs at some decrepit parish hall. It's actually kinda sad.
Run across this 7 year old post only to find that someone commented on it just a couple of weeks ago. Perfect.
Metal Archives is an amazing living paradox which displays simultaneously some of the greatest and most horrible aspects of metal music and culture. The 100% arbitrary decision-making about which bands are (or aren't) metal is probably the crown jewel in its crown of shittiness, Not far behind, though, are the absurdly elitist and self-important album reviews left by many of its members.
One of the silliest things about the arbitrary process of allowing a band on the site or not is that, up until recently, there was a "side project" rule, where the non-metal side projects of metal bands already included on the site would also be included. I guess they've cut back on this now and started removing some of those bands, but not too long ago you could find completely not metal artists such as Of the Wand and the Moon, Vâli, and Tenhi on the site, while artists like Horseback, Between the Buried and Me, and Nails are not allowed (which they still aren't lolol).
Still, I love and appreciate the site for what it is. It's an invaluable resource in many cases. Wish it wasn't such a hive of elitist pricks, but you can't win 'em all.
Here's essential reading when it comes to those neckbeard dorks of Metallum.
https://rateyourmusic.com/list/Qwerty100/bands_mysteriously_absent_from_encyclopaedia_metallum/
Fuck metal archives to hell - there is not one person there that can even read music and they have no idea what the fuck they are even talking about.
Total losers.
all of you negative souls. need to find spiritual path instead of taking it out on other people. why are humans are so pathetic? that they need to make fun of others just to get out of their pitiful self.
If you actually put out any point I could take, I may have been (although not really) in agreement. Now, you just embarass yourself by bitching on thread you dont even like.
Don't "soul" me. Also don't force spiritual blah blah on others.
Yeah Metal Archives is ran by a bunch of hypocrites. They say the accept non-metal bands with historical significance or some shit but when you submit one the rejected it immediately. Then they need 'valid releases' well if something gets taken down from Bandcamp and you can't buy it anymore it may as well not be valid. So what's the big deal about putting one or two bands that only have one album and you can listen to it on YouTube then fell into obscurity. They'll reject bands that are actually metal and accept all the post-metal and deathcore crap that all sounds the same. It's no secret MA is ran by a bunch of non-metalheads. I've seen a majority of moderators who only submitted 12 bands, compared to the ones that added thousands. Morrigan and Hellblazer haven't updated the site since 2002 it looks like crap. The least they could do is make it mobile friendly, I'm sick of seeing the page desktop size on my phone. No ease of access. I hate how they focus on labeling people Fred Dursts for breaking the rules also. It's barely funny, just call them what they are 'vandals' or something like that am I right?
Metal Archives is indeed full of whiny, humourless, preachy and unfortunately also quite thick asswipes that see as their whole mission to make metal a genre for sensitive social workers and easily offended non-metalheads. Their obsession with NSBM, a non-important niche genre if there ever was one, is insane, in the same hand there are some there who defend actual paedophiles. It’s like a brain dead flock of sheep there, people who completely misunderstood what liberal, left wing politics used to be about (not non-issues like band lyrics who must be banned and censored). They’re also unable to argue their point and if forced to as someone exposes their simpleton arguments, they just ban them. People like Morrigan act like some little Stasi commander, which would be ok if they had a sense of humour, understood irony and so on, alas they’re really stupid but think they’re smart. It’s pretty funny but has rendered the forum completely unusable as it’s just an ass kissing contest and discussion does not exist
Metal Arsewipes is a woke site run by a woman with anger issues, a face like a bulldogs arse, and her Internet boyfriends. There’s literally no thinking or free speech allowed. Follow the party line or all the bum boys and Morrigan will ban you. They really don’t even like metal, which once stood for rebellion and fun, not woke conformity and banning people for thoughtcrimes
Yeezy: it’s me, Unknown from May 17, 2016 checking in again to say: huh? “Woke”? You’re either trolling or have no idea what that word means. MA is pretty antithetical to anything “woke” — also, misogyny is not necessary to make your point (to which I’ll add that the elements of gender roles here is NOT insignificant, but we don’t have to be sexist dicks about it). Anyway, in the meantime, NAILS is on MA but Horseback and Btbam still aren’t!
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