Dear -Core Kids,
May I first take the time to thank you for all you've done for me. I really would not be so angry and diatribe-prone were it not for your tireless efforts. You really have gone the extra mile in pissing me off. Not only do you dress like twelve-year-old girls, bring backpacks to metal shows, shout requests to the band, make snide, pseudo-intellectual comments to some drunk chick in order to get her pants off, and listen to shit music; you give so much back to the community. You give me something to hate, which in turn keeps me from hating small children at the park, which in turn hinders the forward progression of my arrest record.
I would also like to thank Encyclopaedia Metallum for a) misspelling their own name, and b) giving me a new site to jerk-off to. Not only is this horrible, horrible website touting itself as the new home for all things metal despite the fact that nine times out of ten it is wrong, but it also gives -Core kids a place to BLOG. We all know those are evil, right kids? (except mine)
I was trying to find a review of United Abominations, last years Megadeth album. Yes, Megadeth rules and Metallica drools cum all over my brand new shag carpet, we know that. Bu apparently some asswipe named 'the Ghoul' disagrees. May I quote? Please note that even if you say aloud, 'no', I'm still going to do it. As my great grandfather once said just before he shot himself, 'no matter how many times she says no, don't stop dry humping'. Words to live by, people.
Seriously, who does Dave (Mustaine) think he is? This album is just modern rock with a metal mask on. The songs are just verse/chorus/verse/chorus/solo/chorus; there's no imagination here.
First of all, thank you for being a prissy little ass-sniffer with the fucking audacity to talk about Mr. Dave Mustaine like you know him. That really helps get the subjective opinion thing across. Second of all, as per your comments towards the song structure, you apparently didn't hear half the album, because shit was flying like the Luftwaffe. These solos are tasty as fuck. Dave Mustaine might as well change his name to Shreddy Krueger, 'cause I had Nightmares about his metal.
Another gem:
These 'lyrics' are just the rantings of a pseudo-political burnt out rockstar.
And your review is just the ranting of a pimple-faced virgin who never got Dave Mustaine's autograph. I did; he signed my left man-boob. It was glorious. Dude, I feel sorry for you. I mean, you spent money on an album that kicks ass like Chuck Norris, and yet you can't step beyond your personal vendettas against Monsieur Mustaine enough to enjoy the sweet riffs. Maybe you should put out an album... oh, wait! You aren't musically talented at all! I forgot.
In conclusion, I'd like to turn my attention back to the -Core kids. You are a bunch of bleeding vaginas. Stuff a tampon in it and realize once and for all that you aren't metal. If you can't shred like a cheese grater, slap that bass like I slap yo mama's ass, beat those skins like they owe you money, or crush mics like the Hulk, then get off the fuckin' stage. And also stop screaming. Screamo needs to die like Lance Armstrong needs his second nut back.
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